HOOLD Brochure
[This brochure was given out at SCA events in 1998. ]
The Holy Order of
Our Lady
of Debauchery
Why Be Normal?
Are you running around frantically trying to keep up? What are you keeping up with? Have you forgotten how to stop and smell the roses? Would you like to be reminded occasionally?
Are you waking up in the morning what the shazbat you did the night before that makes the gods want to punish you in this way? Would you like some help figuring out how you can have fun and still get up in the morning without that painful, achy, fuzzy, “have to hold your head or else it’ll explode” feeling?
Do you seem to be “party manic-depressive”? Do you go for long periods of time having no fun at all, then have a party spree that damages more than just your REM sleep? Would you like some help finding a better balance?
Are you just wondering what the heck this is all about?
We are the Holy Order of Our Lady of Debauchery, a “religion” dedicated to the Proposition that every person is entitled to a life of Fun as well as Seriousness; that too many of us take too many things far too seriously; and that laughing at ourselves and our situations and culture is far better for everyone than laughing at others. We define Debauchery as “Anything done deliberately for fun or pleasure (not necessarily good for you)”; to us, Debauchery is anything from physical activity to eating dessert.
It started as a Joke . . .
In the Beginning, the Holy Order of Our Lady of Debauchery was begun as part of a pyramid scheme to get free beer. Then some of the people we approached to join started asking what their duties were, and we started thinking . . .
- Wouldn’t it be cool if there were a religion that was completely positive, that emphasized Fun and Safety for all?
- What if we made up a “religion” that lets each person believe whatever they want about the Big Things, while we just suggest ways to Have Fun?
- If the “cults” of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny did so much good and spread so much happiness, why shouldn’t we jump on the band wagon?
- Weren’t the traditional religions just ripe for filking?
Thus was born the Order. We have had well-attended services at several SCA events, and are now branching out, serving intelligent people of discriminating taste everywhere. Even You.
Although we call ourselves a religion, we refuse to stand between you and your God(ess)/s. Our goal is only to let people know that it’s OK to have fun, no matter how tall you are; to remind people to keep Joy in their lives, and remember the people around you so you don’t step on their fun. It’ll make the world a better place for everybody!
What’s in It for You?
It’ll be Fun!
- If you practice having Fun by the Bywords “safe, sane, and consensual,” not only will you have Fun, but those around you have Fun, which means that those around them have more Fun, thus increasing the Fun Quotient of the Universe, and that has to be a Good Thing, doesn’t it?
- If you practice treating others using the Standard of “courtesy, caution, discretion, compassion, and tact,” you can show by example that people don’t have to be rude to each other to communicate, and you can make others feel better by treating them like real persons, and their days go better, and up goes the Fun Quotient again, right?
- If you can add the Five Virtues of “honor, joy, love, play, integrity” to the way you live your life, you can . . . well, heck, what couldn’t you do?
- This is your chance to get in on the ground floor of something that might be just as much fun as the Church of the SubGenius or Discordianism . . .
So, hey! Why not? Join the Holy Order of Our Lady of Debauchery; just get hold of us. (We’re Everwhere. Mwahahahaha…) We’ll be glad to have you — we need all the help we can get!
Our Bywords: Safe, Sane, and Consensual
2 out of 3, 1 must be C.
The Bywords of the Order are the guidelines we use when debauching. The best fun is Safe (hurts nobody who might care), Sane (in the estimation of the people involved, at least), and Consensual (between all those affected by it). Safe and Sane are negotiable; Consensual is not, and if possible should include those affected by the secondary effects (like noise and inconvenience) as well as the activity itself.
Our Standard: Rule 2.
Courtesy, Caution, Discretion, Compassion, and Tact will be Militantly Enforced.
Our Standard is meant for guiding interpersonal interactions; it is the Order-recommended way of treating each other. Treating a person with honor and respect is altogether too rare these days; imagine what a better world it would be if we could make it a new Fad?
Our Ideal: The Five Virtures
Honor, Joy, Love, Play, Integrity
Our Ideal, the Five Virtues, is our shorthand way of describing the character traits that most help a person to be the best they can be.
Structure of the Order
The Congregation: Getting baptized makes you a member of the Congregation of the Order. If you wish to make a firmer commitment to the Order, you could ask about becoming a Confirmed Member or a Deacon.
The Cloistered: The ranks of the Cloistered, the original members who bribedtithed their way in with beer, are Novitiates, Nuns & Monks, Templars (for fighters or fighter characters), Costello/as (”Hey, Abbot!”) and Abbot/esses. Many of these persons also perform some of the Rites of Clergy; ask around.
The Clergy: since we are in the process of getting recognized as an official ordaining religion, we do not yet have any official Clergy members; if you would like to be ordained, we suggest you get online and check out the Universal Life Church, who will ordain anyone who asks; but we will have Clergy of the Order, and will also certify people in various Rites (like Clearing Bothers).
To join the Congregation, ask to be baptized. (It’s Free!) You can now even be Baptized Virtually at the Virtual Cathedral (www.hoold.org). To join the Cloistered Members, find someone of a rank higher than you’d like to be and negotiate a bribetithe. To join the Clergy, get hold of us and we’ll let you know the status of things.
How to Get Hold of the Order
Snail Mail:
PO Box 11713
Portland, OR 97211
Through Email:
Contact the Mother Superior:
mshoold@hoold.org
Contact the Grand Inquisitor:
lfwolffe@hoold.org
On the World Wide Web:
Visit our Virtual Cathedral!
http://www.hoold.org
(This ‘religion’ is in no way an official part of this event, nor is in any way sanctioned by whomever is throwing it. They probably don’t even know about it. For entertainment purposes only. Insert Standard Disclaimer Here. No actual religion is implied or inferred–unless you like the idea, of course. This is a pastiche of many different organized religions, and no malice is meant by it in any way towards any one. If you have any questions, please stop by the Order on site. We will be glad to answer them.)
